Conflict is inevitable! Differences of opinion occur regularly
and part
of what makes relationships extra resilient, is to embrace these
differences, use them
and resolve matters in a positive, nurturing way.
What is conflict?!
Definition: Differing ideas, expectations, values, behaviour and
desires to
another. Accept that at times people disagree and please understand, this
is
when real bonding happens. It will set you up for
enduring relationships.
Conflict is often interpreted as, “something wrong” and
yet, without conflict,
a relationship can become unstable and lopsided. It’s more a
matter of
doing conflict well, in a way that builds respect, trust and
courage.
Embracing the difference…
Consider for a moment that you have unique strengths. There will
be some
things that you do really well and to hazard an educated guess,
your
significant other, child/children and people you spend the most
time with,
have opposite strengths. What you’re good at, others may not be
and this
can seem frustrating and yet, this is what makes for a balanced
relationship. !
People are attracted to others with differing strengths so that the
combination in a relationship becomes solid. This means,
conflict. Rather
than going into criticism when someone does something that
doesn’t meet
your expectations, or getting defensive when you don’t do
something that
meets another’s expectations, take a different view of the
situation.!
Acknowledge the differences, discuss what happened factually and
put
“trying to be everything for everyone” aside and learn what you
and the
other person are each good at and not. This is not about winning,
it’s about
team building effectively.
It’s okay to say, “Actually, you are better at doing this
than I am, so from
now on you can be responsible for this…”. Alternatively, it’s
also good to
acknowledge your strengths and let people know what you love
doing and
do well, “I am really good at ____ and I enjoy doing it, so I
want to be in
charge of _____”.!
Good conflict resolution requires giving up being the same and
enjoying the strength in being different.
Emma McKenzie
Teacher - Edgerley Room
Wellbeing Facilitator
