BY MICHAEL GROSE
Perhaps the most exciting news in the
parenting area over the last decade is the discovery of brain plasticity. That
is, the brain is always growing and developing as opposed to it developing and
reaching its nadir at a certain age; and then it’s all downhill from there.
It’s exciting to know that your child’s
talent and smarts are not fixed. Their brains can always learn more, continue
to grow and be stretched. This doesn’t mean that your child doesn’t have a
propensity to be smart in certain areas such as maths or language learning or
that all talent is created equal. Genetics gifts us with certain abilities that
are either developed or they’re not. Instead, your child’s abilities and
talents, just like yours, are evolving over time.
So as parents it seems smart that you
should be developing a growth mindset in your child. A fixed mindset is
limiting, even debilitating for kids. You want them to believe that with effort
and practice they can develop their skills and abilities in whatever area or
interest they want.
Science is on their side – their brains
will continue to grow and stretch however a fixed mindset will let them down.
If they believe that intelligence and talent is fixed then those beliefs will
become self-fulfilling prophecies. Once again, it all comes down to attitude!
Carol Dweck, author of “The New
Psychology of Success” believes that a growth mindset is the quality that
separates those who succeed from those who don’t. Her research reveals how the
use of language when praising kids can have a profound impact on their
attitudes. Subtle differences in tone, wording and phrasing can lead even a
child at two and half to have self-limiting beliefs when he or she started
school a few years later.
Don’t
overpraise
The problem with praising intelligence
and ability is that it leads to fixed mindset development. Kids believe that
their success is reliant on their ability or talent, rather than their effort
or attitude. So to be respected and recognised as successful they become
risk-adverse. Far better to achieve some success no matter how meagre, than
risk failure and being seen as dumb, stupid or a failure.
So how can a parent develop a growth
mindset in children? Well, it does come down to language and a few other
strategies as well. Here are three simple ideas to get you started:
1.
Praise effort, strategy and action, not results
Focus more on the processes of what kids
do rather than results to develop a growth mindset. Kids need to hear comments
such as “You worked hard to get that right!”(effort), “That was a smart idea to
tackle the hardest task while you were fresh!”(strategy) and “You recognised
the first few steps were the most important but then after that you were
right.”(action). This type of praise, also known as encouragement, helps kids
develop the belief that success has more to do with what they do than innate
smarts and talents.
2.
Look for opportunities to stretch your child’s capabilities
Encourage kids to stretch their
capabilities by adding depth and breadth to their list of activities. Boys, in
particular, often go deep investing all their time into areas such as sport or
online gaming to develop their talents over time. Encourage them to stretch
their capabilities across a range of areas rather than a few. Conversely,
encourage a child who dabbles in many areas or interests without specialising
in any area, to go deeper in one area.
3.
Give honest feedback
Providing your child with honest
feedback about their performance not only helps them improve, but also promotes
a growth mindset. We often shy away from giving feedback for fear of harming
children’s self-esteem. Confidence can be maintained by being sensitive to how we provide feedback. For
instance, focusing on two or three things kids do well before giving
constructive feedback is one way you can keep a young learner’s head up while
giving pointers about better performance.
Having brain plasticity means that we
can continue to acquire new skills, learn new things and embed new habits
across our lifespan. It is important then that we help children develop a
growth mindset so that they can reap the benefits of brain plasticity over
their lifetime rather than be limited by their belief systems.
